wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
