So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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