my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
