let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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