a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
