i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
40s are totally the cure
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Randomize
