what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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