Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
