I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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