I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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