curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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