I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
