I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
