im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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