Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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