So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
