I wish I could punch you in the face.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
