i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
