bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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