Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
