Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
