I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
