Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
