Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
