Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
