Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
