belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
