Sry I called you an 8
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
