i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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