in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
