i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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