After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Randomize
