How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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