yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i think my cat just said my name.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
