This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
