all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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