Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
