Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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