Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
one two three fourrrrnication!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
