I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
