i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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