I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
