tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
