Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
