I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Someone came in the potted fern
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
