Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm too high and old for this...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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