Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There's even glitter on my cock...
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