And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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