Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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