Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
