Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
