I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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