there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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