Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
