I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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