I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
